Maryam cracked a scholarship and now is all set to become a doctor !

It was the first time I was away from home and that too, alone. I kept preparing for NEET and I appeared for the exam in the same year but I was not sure if I’ll clear the exam so I applied for B.sc in AMU and other universities. But, I was adamant that I’ll become a doctor, anyhow. B.sc was just a formality but my main motive was to focus on NEET. I gave entrance exams in Jamia Milia Islamia, AMU, etc. But when I was selected in AMU, I did not think for a second and joined there. I was happy because it was my father’s dream that I should do my graduation from AMU. I started with B.sc and side by side, I was preparing for NEET. In the first year, I took coaching at the best coaching center. In the second year, I joined online programs like LNK, AAKASH, etc.

I was satisfied with B.sc but there was still something that was making me uncomfortable because B.sc was not my dream. My dream was to become a doctor and there was still a long path ahead. I again started studying for NEET. I sat in library till 2 am, skipped college fests, events, etc. because I was determined to clear the exam this time.

I had just started with B.sc in August. On 15th August, papa called me and said that he’ll be going for Haj and he’ll come back after a month. So he wanted to meet me before going for Haj. At that time, I did not know about hostel timings or outing forms. Papa said we’ll have lunch together. I did not get the permission from the hostel superintendent and we couldn’t meet him. I was ready to go home but papa said he’ll not take me home and I should prepare for NEET.

When papa came back home from Haj. I wanted to meet papa but I had a weekly test and I couldn’t meet him. He said he’ll come to meet me the next day.  Papa landed in Delhi on 20th September and 21st September was my parents’ anniversary. I called them at 12 am to wish them. He said to me that he misses me a lot and he will come to meet me in the morning after office. I was in hostel mess when I got a call from him. I was expecting that he had reached but one of his friends was on the phone and he told me that papa had met with an accident. I was confused. Papa had kidney stone and I thought after travelling so much, it must have been replaced and maybe that was causing pain. I came home to see him but till then, he was no more. Everything was over. I couldn’t meet him even when he was lying on his death bed. It makes my heart ache everyday to know that I was not with him during his last minutes.

My chachas supported me a lot in everything. One of my chacha is an education consultant. He guided me a lot. He said that if I have a dream of becoming a doctor then I’ll have to leave one of the things. I’d to choose between AMU and my dream of becoming a doctor. Life comes with choices. I was so lost. I had no clue what step should I take further. My mother is an introvert and she never stepped out of the house. My younger sister had to leave science stream and take admission in commerce so that she can get papa’s job in bank. I had never travelled alone but I started travelling alone after papa passed away. I was so depressed after papa left us.

After papa passed away, mummy told me that his last wish was to make me a doctor. He had been praying only for this when they went to Haj. I was in 2nd year of B.sc. My uncle said that I should go to AAKASH for coaching but I said I’ll do coaching from AMU itself. I again started preparing for NEET. I attended B.sc classes for half year and I lost my attendance. But I decided I’ll cover my attendance afterwards and I’ll prepare for NEET first because it struck my mind that the one who can fulfill my and papa’s dream is me. I cannot give up. This time, I scored 407 out of 720. And the cut off wanted was 500+ to get admission in any government college. With these marks, I could get only private colleges. But there was no source of income that I could take admission in a private college. Chacha told me that if I stay in depression, I’ll never be able to pass the exam and get a government college. He suggested me to go abroad for studies because private colleges were very expensive.

I had this fear that I was away from my family when papa left us and I couldn’t meet him. And if I go abroad and some mishap takes place back home, how will I come back? Will I be able to come back or not? It took me approximately two months to make up my mind that I’ve to go abroad. November 5 was the day I left for Georgia. Now, my first year is about to end. In the first semester, in my friends group, I scored the highest marks and I was so happy that I instantly called home and told mummy about it. I’ve adjusted well there. I miss everyone so much.

My family has been the biggest motivation for me in all these hard times. My younger sister has been the biggest mental support. Whenever I was depressed and told mummy about it, mummy would be sad. So, one day, my sister called me and said that she will become my human diary but I should not disturb mummy as she was already going through so much. My father’s younger brothers played my father’s role for me and my siblings.

I can finally see that my dream is coming true. I’m happy now. I will make papa proud one day. I will live his dream one day. 

I want to say that everything happens for a reason. Your inner peace is very important. You should get satisfaction in whatever you’re doing. The definition of your success depends on you. You’ll have to struggle in every field in one way or the other. But at the end what matters is how much efforts you put into something and how badly you want it. Your efforts never go in vain. You’ll for sure get the fruit of your efforts one day.”

Instagram – @_maryamshakeel_

* The views expressed in the above article are of the writer and not Winged Club.